Dearest Daughter,
You are the apple of my eye and I love you more than words can express. Therefore I must now be your Father and not necessarily your friend - hopefully just for while.
First let me say that I know you are super smart and I trust you. Yet we live in a crazy world where shit can happen and I just want to help you avoid it using both common sense and logic-based thinking. Thus maybe you will understand why I have to put some restrictions on your person-hood from here on until you are 18. After that you are a legal adult and can do what you think is best.
Here are my 7 Big Rules:
1) Dress Modestly - Cover up! No tight jeans, mini-skirts or too much skin exposure.
Be judged on your personality/character and not on your exposed skin.
Your developed character will last a lifetime - your skin will
eventually sag - and then what?
2) No make-up until you're 18, and even then go light - accentuate but don't over do it!
3) Don't do sexual dances. Twerking leaves nothing to the
imagination and any decent guy with class will be turned off. Twerking
objectifies - does not empower like uneducated famous women like Beyonce
put forward. Exploiting Sexual power is risky for all the reasons
mentioned in this letter. When you are older - Men are generally physically stronger and
dangerous - especially when drunk. If you play with fire you will get
burned. This is the ugly reality - deal with it and change your behavior
accordingly to avoid the worse case scenario - rape.
4) No drinking till you're 21. And when you do go to social events/parties - drink only 2
drinks - or if you are a lightweight - just 1 or better yet - none! You
do not want to impair your rational decision making ability and put
yourself in bad situations with drunk idiots.
5) Always go with a trusted friend to parties/clubs etc - The Buddy System will serve you well all your life!
6) Don't listen to misogynistic negative music that ranks on women
or treats them like pieces of meat/objects! Otherwise you are
supporting toxic male/female behavior via ignorant popular music. You are what you
consume - mentally, physically and spiritually! (Sto-ology)
7) No sex under my roof, and don't have sex until you know a guy is serious and
really loves you. If you make a guy wait at least 6 months to a year -
he will respect you way more than if you do it right away! And if you
are going to have casual sex - carry fresh condoms and always insist
that your bed-mates wear them! If he says he can't get it up with a
condom - then he is not really into you. When a guy is into a woman -
you can hang a towel on his erection never mind a rubber sleeve that
will avoid STDs and unwanted pregnancies!
The reason I am getting super strict now is because you are blossoming into a young lady and I want no harm to come to you based on me not being a good Father that informs you of reality - the good, the bad and the ugly.
This is not a punishment and you have done nothing wrong. These rules are based on the behavior of guys - young, dumb hormone driven guys and sadly some older pathetic men who are evil - most likely because they had a bad connection with their Mothers.
However, I don't want you to live in fear - because as you have heard me preach before - I believe 'most people are good most of the time'. Yet we all have a dark side and it comes out on occasion - usually when men are intoxicated on alcohol.
You see - men have way more of the hormone testosterone in their bloodstreams than do women. This hormone is what gives men their physical strength as well as their urge to merge - you know what I mean. Paradoxically this same hormone chemical testosterone is why men both fight and desire sex/love. But we all know sex and love are two different things. I know you too will have sexual urges - but you must control yourself! Wait until you are an adult and your hormones settle down and you spend some serious time with a guy. Then you will know who really loves you and are not just after a quick romp in the sack.
Historically - men have treated woman like property. This unjust treatment has only changed in recent history in the Western world and still remains in many other parts of the world where women are still second class citizens. Women still only make 75 cents on the dollar right here in the USA in the 21st century. They only got the right to vote in 1920!
The Bio-Psycho-Social-Evolutionary field of science is now well established and does give insights to human behaviors. One must remember - so called civilization has only really existed for around 5000 years with its moral and ethical teachings from the great prophets and sages and later philosophers. Before the shift to an agrarian/agricultural society around 10,000 years ago - humans were nomadic and violent hunter gatherers for the other 190,000 years of their existence on earth and another 2 million more before that if you include all the previous related hominin branches.
Yes - we are evolving but slowly - both physically and unfortunately - mentally. Granted we have made great strides in science in just the last 100 years but as far as our moral character - we still lie, cheat, steal, rape and kill each other every day. We have a long ways to go. One of the culprits is testosterone on men's behavior in particular. This chemical makes men nuts and do evil stuff. It also propagates the species but maybe even this is not such a good thing anymore with 7+ billion humans on the earth who all want to live unsustainable lifestyles. Maybe figuring out how to curb testosterone in men's systems will help humanity jump to the next higher level of peaceful consciousness and lower the out of control population rate.
But until testosterone dissipates in men naturally or unnaturally - which may be a long time if the regularity of war to solve disputes and the mega popularity of violent sports like Football and IFC are any indication - we Fathers must protect our daughters from harm. Harm in the form of rape and or physical abuse - which according to statistics happen every few minutes in America. This means many men are engaging in these unacceptable, primitive and violent behaviors against women.
Most guys are fine until they drink too much alcohol. Young men in particular become nuts because their hormones are raging and their brains are still developing. Young men are very impulsive - especially under the influence of any alcohol and or drugs. Alcohol brings out ancient violent urges in men and even some women. More so say than marijuana which usually mellows people out taken by itself. But as the weed gets too strong this may change.
We are always hearing about rape on college campuses - where young people - finally being free of parental rules - go over board and drink way too much alcohol. This then leads to horrible scenarios of drunk young men raping drunk young women. Then the women have emotional scars/damage and guy trust issues for the rest of their lives - and rightly so.
Therefore - Knowing that testosterone fueled violence and drinking alcohol is an intricate part of our culture (Perpetual War & Popularity of violent sports - Football - IFC etc) and is not going to change anytime soon - what can young women do right now to avoid these horrendous Rape and Physical Abuse scenarios? (see big 7 above)
Finally my dearest daughter - I am sorry the world is like this and I must be so strict - but we are still evolving as a civilized species and unfortunately still have a ways to go - so in the mean time you must follow my rules until you are 18 and a legal adult. God Bless you my child and I pray you never have this evil thing called rape happen to you and it most likely will not if you just use common sense and logic to dictate your behavior out there in the real world.
Always Love You,
Dad
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